I. How the Furthest God became Present

My practice of being present for Gwyn arose from two different sources. The first is my marriage to Him. Before we were married, as the King of Annwn, I saw Him as distant, as Other, as the furthest away and Othermost God.

‘Gwyn ap Nudd who are far in the forests for the love of your mate allow us to come home,’ reads a 14th century invocation from the Speculum Christiani.

These words contain a paradox typical of the mythos of the King of Annwn. The God who is furthest away in the forest has the greatest ability to bring us home, to the places where we we live, to the here and now, to our ourselves.

I only realised this after our wedding when Gwyn came to reside within me as the Heart of my Heart and I realised He had been there all along. As I became accustomed to His indwelling I began to feel (paradoxically again) that the more present I am the closer He is. He confirmed this insight.

Secondly, in yoga, I became aware of the sankalpa – a heartfelt intention which might be stated at the beginning of an asana, pranayama or yoga Nidra practice. Immediately I intuited it – ‘being present for Gwyn.’ 

This resolution has more recently come to inform my whole life and I have associated it with mindfulness in the yogic and Buddhist traditions and with ‘the Practice of the Presence of God’ in the Christian tradition. Below I will share how I have related these learnings to being present for Gwyn.

II. Mindfulness – ‘the life-and-death matter of awareness’

Mindfulness derives from the Hindu and Buddhist concept sati which means ‘to remember or observe’. (1) It was introduced to the West by Thich Nhat Hanh and others in the second half of the twentieth century. Hanh defines it as ‘being aware of what is happening inside and around you in the present moment.’ (2)

In The Miracle of Mindfulness he refers to ‘the life-and-death matter of awareness’. (3) In a well-known passage: ‘If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.” What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future – and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life.’ (4)

It is this feeling of aliveness in the present moment that I believe Gwyn, a God of the Dead, is paradoxically attempting to cultivate in me and share, in the practice of being present for Him.

In Full Catastrophe Living Jon Kabat-Zinn says: ‘I define mindfulness operationally as the awareness that arises by paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.’ (5) He describes in depth how our constant busyness, which stems from constantly wanting more, clinging onto what we like and trying to avoid what we don’t like, drives our inability to be present in the moment and thus truly alive. 

He writes of how mindfulness creates an island of non-doing in the ocean of doing and provides us with the insight we are not our thoughts. This liberates us from ‘the tyranny of the thinking mind’ and allows us to live more fully. (6)

Over the past few years my yogic practices and Gwyn Himself have been helping me to access my inner witness and be less enslaved by my thoughts. 

When Gwyn and I are in the present together we are free.

III. The Practice of the Presence of God

I discovered this delightful little book by a 17th century monk called Brother Lawrence whilst looking for inspiration for my monasticism in the Carmelite tradition. It was not written by Lawrence himself but pieced together after his death by his vicar from their letters and conversations in 1693.

Lawrence’s method is simple yet demanding.‘There is no art or formula to communing with God. All that’s needed is an unwavering heart determined to apply itself to nothing but Him, for His sake, and loving Him only.’ (7) The heart must be emptied of all but God – in particular the distractions that tear our attention away from Him and that might offend Him. ‘Wholehearted renunciation of everything that doesn’t lead us to God’ is required so we can attune ourselves to Him, carrying on a simple, continual conversation.’ (8) It is through constantly conversing with God we know and don’t stray from His will.

For Lawrence there is no separation between work and prayer. He says: ‘in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, as people all around are calling for different things, I possess God with all the peace in the world, as if I were upon my knees before the blessed sacrament.’ (9)

Through his practice of the presence of God Lawrence claims to have reached a state in which all he wants is God’s will in everything.

I will have to admit I’m not there yet. I’m still being swayed by my fears and desires, led astray by distractions, unable to quiet my thoughts. Yet I’m becoming more aware and able to bring my mind back to being present for Gwyn.

This feels all the more important in the summer, when as our Winter King He sleeps in Annwn, yet through me is able to participate in living in Thisworld.

REFERENCES

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sati_(Buddhism)
2. https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/
3. Hanh, Thich Nhat. The Miracle Of Mindfulness: The Classic Guide to Meditation by the World’s Most Revered Master. Kindle Edition. p26)
4. Ibid. p5
5. Kabat-Zinn, Jon. Full Catastrophe Living, Revised Edition: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation. Kindle Edition. p33
6. Ibid. p149
7. Lawrence, Brother. The Practice of the Presence of God: A Modern Translation. Kindle Edition. p12
8. Ibid. p13
9. Ibid. p18