They Called Me Pig is a poetry collection charting the development of an eating disorder that began with childhood bullying and how I have begun to heal by building a healthier relationship with food, exercise and my body. I have written it as part of the inner work of my shamanic apprenticeship, as a way of processing trauma and transforming it into art. I’m hoping it’s a topic everybody can relate to on some level as we all have a body and need to eat and exercise to live. You might also have relatives or friends with an eating disorder who might benefit from reading it.
It is downloadable for free but if you enjoy it please consider reciprocating by passing on the link to a friend or by telling somebody about my writing and shamanic work.
If you’re interested in working with me on using shamanic work combined with art as a method of healing, transformation and self-expression, I offer sessions at £15 an hour. Please get in touch lornasmithers81@gmail.com
Shamanic energy healing is a form of energy healing in which a practitioner works with their spirit helpers and traditional shamanic tools such as a drum and rattle to heal ailments which have a basis in a client’s energy body.
The notion that we have not only a physical body but an energy body and that they are both expressions of energy is common across indigenous and Eastern cultures. It was lost in the West due to the hegemony of our rational scientific worldview yet is now coming to be accepted in modern science. Einstein states E=mc² – energy and matter are basically the same thing.
There are many models of the energy body which share a common core. Firstly, energy runs in channels through the energy body (in India these are referred to as nadis and in China as meridians). Secondly, there a number of energy centres within the body with the main ones located along the spine. From the Indian yogic system is derived the modern seven chakra ‘wheel’ model you may be familiar with (root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, brow, crown). As it is the best known this is the one most practitioners use. Thirdly, the body is surrounded and interpenetrated by an energetic field known as the aura.
A shamanic energy healing session typically begins with a scan of the client’s energy field and chakras to assess the overall flow and to locate any problems. Blocked or congealed energies are moved and / or transformed. Energetic imbalances are corrected. This might be done by the use of the hands or bodily movements (on an energetic level not touching the client), with a drum or rattle, the voice, or with a natural object such as a feather.
In some cases an extraction is required. Extraction involves removing intrusions. An intrusion is negative energy that does not belong to a client and intrudes into their energy field, often when they are feeling low. Intrusions can appear as objects such as arrows or stones or can take the form of beings, most commonly as insects or serpents. They are extracted from the energy field into an object such as a stone, crystal or feather then returned to the elements in some way (for example I put my crystals in salt water to neutralise the negative energy and hang my feathers on a tree). Because the extraction leaves a gap it is usually necessary to bring positive energy in. This can be resonant energy from the client’s energy field or might be brought from elsewhere by the practitioner or the spirit helpers. It might take the form of light, a colour, or an object such as a crystal.
The practitioner may also be guided to work with one or more of the chakras. Each chakra relates to a different system within the body. For example, the heart chakra to the circulatory system and the sacral to the reproductive system. The chakras can reveal what is happening in the related system.
I’ve found that it’s possible to journey, with or without the client, into a chakra in order to gain a vision of the ailment within the body or to trace its origin in history or ancestry or on a symbolic level within one of the Otherworlds. Healing work can be done within a chakra. Cleansing and energising the chakra once the work has been done also has a positive effect. The session might be finished with healing drumming or a rattle cleansing.
The energy system can be shaken up by the process and symptoms can get a little worse before they get better, but this only something to worry about if the aggravation is excessive or lasts for more than a few days.
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In preparation for energy work with clients I spent a good couple of years beforehand getting to know and working with my own energy body. This was through yogic techniques such as meditation and breathwork focusing on the pancha kosha ‘five envelopes’ energy body and seven chakra model. I chose the yogic system because my personal spiritual path, Brythonic polytheism, shares its roots with yoga with both being Indo-European traditions. On advice of my mentor I also did journeywork with my chakras, exploring the inner landscapes and how they relate to my physical body and building a map of personal associations including their guardian spirit animals.
I offered the sessions in person, online, and, for the first time, provided a distance healing option. This consisted of an online interview followed by a remote healing session with an audio recording and an email summary.
I worked with eight clients in total. Most clients came to me with more than one problem. The most common were musculoskeletal. I also dealt with digestive ailments, eye and throat problems, womens’ issues and cancer.
I’ve learnt a good deal from these shamanic energy healing sessions. Each client and each ailment has led to a deeper knowledge of physical anatomy and how it is linked to the energy body and to energetic disturbances.
On several occasions I was prompted to mime the work I was doing on an energetic level on the physical level without touching the client (ie. stirring, swaying, massaging) and this felt very natural and intuitive. Having done some physical work and put in physical effort made me feel as if I’d worked more towards the effect and brought about more of an energetic shift.
Another point of learning was that I was guided to merge not only with my own spirit helpers but those of clients. This was most often with power animals but on a couple of occasions it was with angels (with whom I wouldn’t usually work in my day-to-day practice). This gave me a strong sense of their power and energy and how it might augment a healing. On a couple of occasions I had the opportunity to work with others who have relationships with Gwyn ap Nudd (my patron God) and working with His guidance and channelling His energy was a powerful experience for both myself and the clients.
I had the opportunity to work with one client who was far more clairsentient than clairvoyant (which is my main channel). I really had to listen to my body and in combination with what the client was feeling in order to build a rapport and tune in to what spirit was saying to both of us. It helped me develop my own clairsentience and ability to work with someone through this channel.
In most instances, I found that an ailment could be healed by pure energy work but, in others, that it was necessary to address the root cause, which in a couple of cases was power loss or soul loss, necessitating power or soul retrieval. In another couple of cases ailments were ancestral and communications with ancestors and addressing ancestral patterns and trauma was needed. My existing training stood me in good stead for bringing in other techniques.
An important point to note is that the shamanic energy healing was quite often a supplement to existing treatment from doctors and physiotherapists. It was encouraging that my findings and healings resonated with advice from the traditional medical professions and that they sat well side by side.
I found that whether I did sessions in person, online, or remotely did not affect the efficacy of the healing or the emotional intensity. I wondered whether the remote healings would feel more distant, but as soon as I with the client in spirit, it felt no different to being with a client in person.
Over the course of the sessions I have grown in confidence and feel that I now have the ability to work with my guides on any problem a client presents with recourse to my mentor and / or the medical professions where needed. I’m looking forward to exploring shamanic energy healing further in the future.
I am now offering shamanic energy healing at a student rate of £30 a session contact lornasmithers81@gmail.com
Soul retrieval is a central practice within core shamanism. It was (re)introduced to the West by Michael Harner in the 1970s following his study and practice with indigenous shamans around the world.
From a shamanic perspective, one of the main causes of illness is soul loss. This occurs in moments of trauma wherein the pain is so great a part of the soul departs from the body in order to preserve the intregrity of the whole. Soul loss can occur as a result of major trauma such as accidents, near-death experiences, war-time experiences, abuse and neglect. It can also be brought about by ongoing traumas such as bullying and being trapped in a controlling relationship. What constitutes trauma for one person might be different for the next. We can also, consciously or unconsciously, send soul parts away in order to fit in with family, friends, or the demands of society. These are often child parts, sensitive parts, or wild parts that do not cohere with social norms.
Within a shamanic context the soul parts can depart to various places. They can remain stuck at the site of the trauma here in the Middle World or take flight to a favourite place where they feel safe. They can also go to the Upper World or the Lower World. It is common to find they are looked after by guides or ancestors or protected by guardians.
The technique for bringing these missing soul parts back is called soul retrieval. It is possible for spontaneous soul retrieval to happen – for soul parts to come back on their own – and for a person to be able to find or call back their own soul parts. However, most often, because a person has sent their soul parts away and they no longer trust them or believe being with them is safe, it takes the skill of a shamanic practitioner to bring them back.
In a soul retrieval the practitioner journeys into the spirit realm with their guides to find the lost soul part. Negotiations with the protectors and with the soul part itself are usually needed to persuade it to come back. Soul parts will rarely return if the client is in the same conditions as when they left – for example trapped in abusive relationship or in an intolerable job. The soul parts frequently ask that the client make life changes to accomodate them (if they have not already done so) and might also ask that they make room for their needs – such as time for play or for spirituality or creativity. They might also ask for ritual acts such as the client eat their favourite food on a particular day, wear their favourite clothes, or do a favourite activity. Once the negotiations have been completed the soul parts sometimes need healing. After this, the practitioner returns and blows the soul part into the client’s body (usually a chakra) then rattles around to seal them in. The journey is then discussed with the client and they are advised on integration.
The main symptom of soul loss is feeling like you are not all here or a part of you is missing. Other symptoms include lost or fragmented memories and recurring dreams. Often, talking therapies fail to work because they are not addressing the parts that are missing. This fits with what, today, we call PTSD. In fact, the concepts of soul retrieval and soul loss fit very well with contemporary findings in neuroscience which demonstrates that trauma causes certain parts of our brain to go offline (causing parts of ourselves to disappear). Also, with psychotherapy, particularly Internal Family Systems, wherein protector parts are negotiated with and exiled parts integrated back into the whole. Following soul retrieval it is common for a person to feel more grounded and whole, for memories to return, and recurring dreams to ease.
Like most people I’ve experienced a fair amount of trauma. I’m autistic and was bullied throughout school and have also been bullied in the workplace. As a result I was often disassociated and retreated into fantasy to escape. I also depended on alcohol to self-medicate my anxiety for most of my life. Having a soul retrieval with my mentor and retrieving a soul part from one of my past lives have helped me to be happier and more present in the world.
My patron God, Gwyn ap Nudd, gathers the souls of the dead in the Brythonic tradition. He played a role in my soul retrieval, guiding my mentor to one of my lost soul parts and bringing it back to me. This experience was very emotional. Afterwards I realised that gathering lost soul parts was also His role. From thereon I knew soul retrieval was to be an important part of my work.
For my training towards becoming a shamanic practitioner I completed ten case studies. Soul retrieval proved popular because so many people relate to the concept of soul loss and recognise they are suffering from it. Finding and returning lost soul parts has been challenging but beautiful and inspiriting work and a fulfilment of service to both my clients and my God.
At first I was anxious about doing this healing for a couple of reasons. Firstly, there was the fear that I’d be completely useless at it and unable to find the soul parts. This was assuaged a little when one of my crow guides joked that I’d find it easier finding the soul parts than the people they belonged to.
Secondly, I was nervous about interacting with other people on such a deep level as an autistic person with social anxiety who has little experience of interpersonal relationships. Would I be able to show adequate care and kindness towards my clients and the lost and wounded parts of their souls? To make the shift from being an anxious and defensive person who has survived in a neurotypical world by masking to being more open-hearted I had to put a lot of trust in Gwyn and my guides and the people I was working with. Following my prayers I was able to drop down from the chatter in my head to working on a more intuitive and heart-centred level. This enabled me to interact with clients empathetically face-to-face and during the journeys. Not only that, on many occasions, I shared their emotions – both joy and sorrow, and even ended up hugging a couple of people afterwards (I never hug!).
During the healings I recovered soul parts from various places. Some remained at the site of trauma in the Middle World often within urban landscapes. Others had chosen to remain in or had fled to familiar places Middle World such as family homes, woodlands and beaches. A couple had escaped to fairytale landscapes in the Upper World. Some had gone to or were stuck in the Lower World – being submerged in underwater places or trapped in underground tunnels were common themes. Some of the soul parts had otherworldly guardians. Others had been looked after by ancestors, animal spirits, or favourite pets who had passed over.
The soul parts varied in age and appearance. Many were child parts. I was surprised to find a foetal part. I’d come across very young and baby parts but had been unaware that parts could leave whilst in the womb. I was equally surprised by the appearance of an elderly part. I hadn’t realised we contained or could lose parts older than our current age but this made sense within the context of the soul containing all our possibilities within it. Whilst most appeared as human some at first appeared as objects or essences.
In order to return, some of the soul parts simply wanted loving and nurturing. Others asked the clients to make room for emotions such as fear and joy. In some instances specific rituals were given which helped with the integration.
I didn’t have any problems journeying and so far have not returned without any soul parts. Contrarily, after discussing the healings with my mentor, in a couple of cases I feel I might have been overtrying, pushing too hard to find the soul parts, rather than letting the journeys unfold at a slower pace and allowing for distractions that might provide other revelations about a client’s problems.
Another thing I noticed was my reactions to the feedback (provided a month later). I was really attached to my clients providing positive comments and assuring me that all the classical effects of a soul retrieval had been felt. In a couple of instances life stresses had got in the way or clients had felt less certain about whether the soul parts had returned making me feel I’d failed.
When I spoke to my mentor about this she reminded me that spirit does not follow the Western model of cause and effect. Shamanic healing isn’t linear. When we’re working with spirit / energy / the web of life, if we change or unpick something in one place it will alter something elsewhere in space and time but it might not be the thing we expect. Also, it is common for clients to have ups and downs and for the healing work to bring up issues that need to arise and to be integrated and processed. These issues of having certain expectations and being attached to results are something I need to work with.
Overall I felt the soul retrievals were a success. On all occasions my clients had powerful and moving experiences and experieced the return of soul parts. In my feedbacks it was repeated that they felt safe and comfortable working with me, that they were listened to, that I was calm and… patient. I still have alot to learn but my foundational training in soul retrieval is complete and I’m looking forward to further developing my skills with this practice.
I am now offering soul retrieval at a student rate of £30 for a 2 hour session (1/2 hour online interview and 1 1/2 hour healing online or in-person for local people).
The term ‘power animal’ was introduced to the West by Michael Harner as one of the central concepts within core shamanism. It is borrowed from the native North American peoples and is interchangeable with ‘guardian spirit’.
A power animal helps us to connect with the natural world and the spirit world. According to Harner its presence provides us with energy and good health, whereas when we lack a guardian spirit, we are no longer power-filled and this leaves us open to the intrusive energies that cause illness.
Harner notes ‘the individual characters represent entire species or larger classes of animals… the entire genus or species… a person usually possesses not just the power of a bear, or of an eagle, but the power of Bear or of Eagle.’
Power animals or guardians spirits can be found across cultures. It’s a concept I relate to deeply because I connect so strongly with Horse. When I was little I used to run round the playground playing horses (until I got it bullied out of me). I managed to persuade my parents to let me go horseriding and spent all my time outside school helping out at a local riding school in exchange for free rides and later in life worked with horses.
When I was eighteen I got a tattoo of a white winged unicorn on my back and, later, when I discovered shamanism, she appeared as my guardian spirit. It didn’t take me long to work out that my power animal was Horse.
Since our ‘meeting’ (I believe she’s always been there) she has brought an abundance of joy and energy into my life whether out walking or at the gym or when she carries me between the world in my shamanic journeywork.
I’ve had relationships with other power animals and have a regular ‘team’. It’s common to have one or more power animals who stay for life and others who appear to guide us through certain life lessons then depart once they are done. For example, a one-legged raven guided me on my explorations of the Old North then disappeared and I haven’t seen him since.
Different power animals bring different powers and qualities into our lives. We can call on their power and shapeshift into them – a practice seen in the Brythonic culture wherein warriors invoked their energy as bulls of battle, wolves of war and ravening ravens when they fought on the battlefield and in the Anglo-Saxon and Norse cultures where we find the Berserkers ‘Bear Shirts.’
Such relationships are reciprocal with the human benefiting from the animal’s power and the animal benefiting from being able to express its power in the world.
The absence of a power animal results in power loss, which can cause ill health. The shamanic healing for this is a power animal retrieval. This is a practice that Harner borrowed from the native North American peoples. Herein a shamanic practitioner journeys to the Lower World to bring back a power animal for the client. Harner tells us, ‘the secret to recognizing the power animal is a simple one: it will appear to you at least four times in different aspects or at different angles.’ For example, one might see Stag at a distance, shapeshift into Stag, see Stag on a cave wall, then ride on Stag. Once the identity of the power animal is established, the practitioner gathers the power animal into their arms and returns to blow them into the body of the client (Harner notes the Jívaro blow the animal into the chest and then into the fontanelle but I have been guided to blow them into one of the chakras) and then rattles around the client to seal them in.
I first learnt power animal retrieval at The Shaman’s Pathway workshop with the Sacred Trust and have progressed towards using it to heal clients in my one-to-one shamanic training. Including the person I worked with in the introductory workshop I have so far completed six power animal retrievals. I have found these healings to be a source of power and wonder for both the client and myself as I have helped (re)unite them with their guardian spirits.
I have used the traditional way of journeying for a client then reporting back and other methods taught to me by my mentor which provide more scope for agency and participation for the client. These are speaking out loud as I journey so the client is more immersed, taking them with me on the journey so they can look around and interact, and holding space for them to journey.
Each journey was unique and ranged from one client being courted by every animal in the forest to another to whom only one animal appeared. In some instances the client’s power animal turned out to be the one who had consistently shown itself as the most powerful presence in their lives, whereas others were less frequent guides or a complete surprise.
I was astounded by the immense power and intelligence of other people’s guardians. Each was unique and it was a privilege to meet and interact in such a close way and to play a role in helping clients to establish and deepen their relationships with them. When I was sealing agreements between the client and their animal I felt a sense of being a bridge between the worlds and, somewhat laughably, like a celebrant, as they made their ‘vows’.
This work was a step up from the guidance journeys as there was more responsibility in finding a power animal who would bring energy and health to the client and might be a friend and source of guidance and wisdom for life. I feel I met the demands, ensuring that I was fully present for each person, listening to their needs, and paying full attention during the journeys.
One of the things I was slightly uncertain about was Harner’s method of recognising the power animal from four angles. In an introductory workshop to core shamanism I got an animal who showed themselves in four different ways (Panther) but who didn’t turn out to be my power animal (Horse).
I was also unsure about this method of recognition because there is no evidence that it was ever used in British or other Western European traditions. However, I went with it for the journeys and found when doing power animal retrievals for clients it was integral for identifying the power animal from all the other animals and could think of no better method.
The greatest challenges I faced were self-doubt and the desire of my ego to get things ‘right’ by providing a journey that matched those of shamanic authors. Being aware of these tendencies I made sure I trusted and stayed with what was shown by my guides, the spirit world, and the spirits we met.
The effects of the healings for the clients have varied from experiencing more power and joy in their lives and new or deeper connections with their power animals, to ailments easing and being able to come of some medications. It has been a beautiful and edifying experience for clients, their guardians and myself.
I’m very happy to announce that I have now completed my power animal retrieval training and am offering this healing at a student rate of £30 HERE.
The gift of shamanism lies in each and every one of us. It’s a gift from the Gods, from the spirits, from the spirit world. Over the past six months I have been gifting my time and energy to help others access this magical gift.
As part of my training towards becoming a shamanic practitioner I offered a course of six one-to-one weekly ‘Introduction to Shamanism’ sessions to newcomers covering journeying safely in the Lower World, Upper World and Middle World and meeting animal spirit guides and spirit teachers. I also covered the basics of shamanic healing.
It’s been a gift for me to watch others grow from having little to no knowledge of shamanism and doubts about their ability to journey to making their first connections with their guides and beginning to explore the spirit world.
I have witnessed eight people begin to find their ways around the worlds and build relationships with their guides in ways that have been fun, loving and spine-tinglingly powerful. The process has been moving and surprising as I’ve come to see the spirit world in new ways through other people’s eyes and observed their tenacity and the ingenuity of the answers from their helpers.
Each six-week long journey has had its own magic and been healing in its own right. Each person has met guides in each the worlds and has the confidence and ability to journey alone and to access basic healing from the spirits.
Shamanism is our birth right and it has been near-lost to the British Isles since the coming of Christianity and its denegration of our native Gods and spirits as devils and more recently the hegemony of the reductivist worldview wherein spirits are not seen to exist, which has led to industrialism and capitalism.
It cheers me greatly that so many people in my local area from different walks of life are interested in shamanism and are claiming this innate gift back.
With my eight case studies complete I am offering my six week ‘Introduction to Shamanism’ at student rates (£15 per hour or £70 for six) HERE.
To read the testimonials from my volunteer clients click HERE.
The Sanctuary of Vindos 