A year ago I took my initial vows as a nun at the Monastery of Annwn. I am  now preparing to take temporary vows and have been considering how living by our nine vows and rule and being part of a monastic community have shaped my life and brought me closer to my Gods over the past year.

Our first vow is ‘to abide by the values of devotion and inspiration’. At the Monastery of Annwn we differ from other monastic traditions in that an equal amount of value is given to contemplative practice and to creativity. 

Throughout the year I have done my best to keep focused on these values. I’ve maintained my morning and evening devotions (vow three) to my patron God, Gwyn ap Nudd, His family and my local deities. Through meditation and journeywork I have deepened my relationship with Gwyn and my Gods (vow six).

I’ve found much of the deepening of my relationship with Gwyn has come from the process of writing my books reimagining His story – The King of Annwn Cycle. Through journeying with Him beyond His known myths into His unknown boyhood to find out how He became King of Annwn I have walked with him, borne witness to the numinous events that have shaped Him. This has felt like an immense and a wondrous privilege and I also feel privileged to be able to share this with others in the form of the books.

Caretaking a sacred space (vow three) in my monastic cell has been a pleasure and an honour and I am striving to treat our house as a monastery. Going about my chores more mindfully and prayerfully. And treating our garden, where I grow herbs, wildflowers and some food, as a monastic garden.

I’ve had some minor conflicts around vows seven and eight – ‘to take care of my health’ and ‘to live simply and sustainably’. Running and strength training are important for my well being as an autistic person with high anxiety but are costly in terms of buying running shoes every six months and belonging to a commercial gym and paying my personal trainer (whose sessions are well worth the money in terms of learning and progressing and staying injury free).

In all other ways I keep vow eight – I do my best to eat local produce, recycle, only buy clothes if I need them, don’t travel, don’t socialise. As my training is bound up with my spiritual path in terms of becoming a strong vessel for the inspiration of my Gods and closer to Gwyn as a warrior and hunter and He encourages it I am allowing myself these excesses.

I have ironically found the vow which is closest to my heart – ‘to keep the Rule of the Heart’ – the hardest. Our rule is to follow our hearts in alignment with the hearts of the Gods and the beat of the Heart of Annwn. It has taken a lot of quandry to discern what is in my heart and what the Gods want.

On a number of occasions I have made mistakes and almost taken the wrong path on the basis of trying to do what I think society wants or what will make money. During this discernment process I have received the gnosis that I am ‘an inspirer not a teacher’ and must focus on my devotional life and creativity rather than attempting to teach workshops and courses. 

Following my heart has led me to see my calling as one of devotional creativity.

Vows five and nine  are to pray and check in regularly with other members and to play an active role in building the monastery. We are developing practices such as our co-written New Moon Prayer and Novena Prayer for Gwyn over the nine nights of the full moon. We have begun celebrating seasonal festivals based on Gwyn’s mythos and have a monthly meditation group.

Praying, meditating, celebrating, and communing with other monastic devotees on our forum has helped me feel less alone and it has been inspiring to learn how others interact with and perceive the Deities of Annwn. 

I have also been considering whether I am closer to earning my monastic name Sister Patience. I am still very very impatient in relation striving to get things done as quickly as possible and being unable to relax until they are done. 

Writing a novel for Gwyn has been an important lesson in learning patience. In contrast to poetry and short stories it is a long process not only in terms of the greater word count but the reworking and editing to make it a coherent whole. So has building the monastery as a collaborative project. In this I’m trying to learn to let go and trust the Gods and other members and to allow it to grow organically rather than attempting to push and force the pace. My slow progress in other areas – from breathing meditation and yoga to my running and strength training have all been steps towards patience too.

I will be taking temporary vows (for three years) on the new moon on the 14th of October.